26th October 2015

I think, I know why now.

Growth

I use to take photos like these, for the sheer fun of it. I kinda miss it. I know it's not the best photography but its just the concept of capturing the moment, the moment I felt completely free on being me :)

hope ya'll have a good weekend! xx

LUSH - Honey I Washed The Kids

MY FIRST LUSH PRODUCT.

 It smells so sweet, I can have diabetes after every shower.

If you're up for sweet things, go ahead with the product! you can use it on your hair and body, so it's a two in one killer ;)

"Love is a choice, and God chose you"

fear;

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

As I stared at the screen knowing that I've started a war I've never fought before, fear crept into me. The reality and the possibility of failure is standing in front of me, I've never failed a subject before, and now I'm actually facing this possibility. I turned to God with my crumpled spirit, my heart filled with so much fear and terror. I heard these words whisper in my soul "I have not given you a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind"

Today I face my fears again, but now knowing that I am not alone. "I'm closer than you know."

I know my God is true and great when I scroll through insta and I see the same verse whispered to me yesterday :)  and it tells me to overcome fear with the weapons God has granted me with. 

Always amazed at how You speak to me :)

"The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God" Psalm 51: 17

Sometimes I wonder what You're really after.. 

Psalm 62: 11-12

One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard; that you O God are strong, and that you O God are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.


These words were spoken to me when I was in a dark room, exhausted over all the work and sleepless nights. I could feel my weary self slowly giving in. I asked God "why? If I put in this much for You, God, what would it all come to?"

He will reward each person according to what he has done, and He has always kept His word. :)

No.

It's okay to say "no" sometimes.

Not all things are meant to be given away, not all things are meant to be ours.

:)

Dear 2015;

I had so much fun in 2014, to be able to have the opportunity to be myself and just to be selfish for a little while, to be happy and experience little joys in life. I've lost friends but gained more valuable ones instead, I've learned how to treat myself well and give myself a little more credit than I use to. I remember having a hard time moving on from this relationship I had and I was praying so hard about it cause I couldn't let go, but that weekend I went to church and the preaching was about closing that chapter in your life. It is over, it is done, He's got a good story on the other chapter and all I have to do is turn the page. I feel the same today, it is time to close this chapter and to experience the good God has always intended to put in my life. 

I tried a little harder in the things I'd like to achieve and have reaped what I sowed. The only thing I have to learn, is to love a little more this year :) I had enough of me and I hope to open my heart a little more, to be able to care for the people around me, and to properly love with no fear. 

I use to be terrified to care and love like I used to, but hey, what is life if everyone closes a door on you? What if you find a treasure opening that one door, and your life would never be the same again? Because 'perfect love drives out fear' right? :)

To 2015, I know you'd be a good one. 

Christ is enough;

I remember the first time I heard this song, I felt like I had nothing left of me. I lost my joy, my esteem, self-worth, myself. I felt like I let Him down and I was standing before Him with nothing to offer but my sorry self. 

As the lyrics played, I felt His love and grace fill me. His grace is enough. HE is enough for me. 

"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past" -Isaiah 43:18

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesS so that Christ's power may rest on me" 2 Corinthians 12:9

I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back :) 

that bridge;

He said, "it's not about the destination, its about the company" 

I am thankful for all the memories made this year, it was one that I would call one of my favourites in my 20 years, if it ever lasts, I am grateful :)

Intersection;

It's such a powerful thing when you put hope and value into someone. It changed me. 

becoming a woman;

LET'S BE HONEST.

I make mistakes. Admittedly, I use to think that if a girl has brains and beauty, she's got this down. She's going to have EVERYTHING. Shoes, money, bags, clothes, tifanny & co., boys, shoe room, good job, status, power. But someone slapped me in the head today with this verse:

Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Case closed.

let it go;

sometimes its really hard to let go. Especially when that someone knows you so well. It's hard. I'm confused. I love spending time with you and you probably do too, Sure, we're both oblivious about culture and upbringing but the fun of it is learning about them. You got me at the wrong time, its too bad.

What I really want to do:

1. Get an internship at an architectural firm or any firm, really.
2. Start a beauty blog
3. Play a sport with a good, supportive group
4. Dance, and be good at it
5. Make a song cover

I guses, this shall be my resolution for now :)

Ambition;

I am a big dreamer. Sometimes I think my dreams are a little bit unrealistic but I am pretty proud of them..because somehow I believe at least, I'll strive towards it and land somewhere closer to the dream or even better, there.

So, what are my dreams?

Going through life, everyone gets hurt, and its easy to lash back and create a big wall, hide, protect and seclude yourself. At one point, I have done that as I was extremely tired and my emotional tank was empty, incapable to care and love. However, as I looked at my father, he was always compassionate, loving and caring even to those who have cheated and hurt him. It was then that I realised, it is possible if you are willing. It is possible to love again even when you have been hurt multiple times, it is possible to be a light in this dark world. My father probably does not know this but he is my biggest inspiration. His wise words often surprises me and corrects my actions. I have decided, that in all things and circumstances, I will be wise and I will be kind.

My ambition is to be a great designer, hopefully I can set up a beauty blog, to be a part of a international dance group (yehhh!), to sing like beyonce (dayum), be an international squash player! etc. but through these, my dream, is to be a good inspiration, to never intentionally cause harm or hurt to anyone, but to bring joy and hope through my actions and to live a life pleasing in Gods eyes. 

Day by day;

Most people think breaking up is a bad thing, a negative remark on life.

I kind of chose to take it as a good thing. I found myself happier, so drawn to the things God has planned for me and what I can do now. God is always good :) I read this "I know that there is nothing better for them, than to rejoice, and to do good so long as they live." Ecclesiastes 3:12

Be happy. Life is too short to be sad :)

Inizio;

In all your ways, submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight - Proverbs 3:6